I just have to put this out in the universe. I am facing questions daily and overwhelmed with the competing demands on my time for all the things I must do. I’m driven; I have the work ethic, passion, & good intentions. But sometimes the eagle’s eye perspective gets lost.
I need a good mentor. What kind of person do I consider as a good mentor?
Someone who knows that my goals have nothing to do with his/her goals for me. (Here, almost all the managers I’ve ever had failed.) And for that matter, my goals matter far more than any other goals. Thus, my personal goals are just as important as are my career objectives.
Someone who empowers, probes and asks the right questions, rather than tells me how it “should” be or what I must do.
Someone who helps me see more clearly and helps me to define the steps to get where I need to be, but also who feeds the fire that drives the desire to get somewhere.
Someone with whom I can touch base on everything without reserve, and ask for advice on small things like how to word a particular email to an important prospect or big things like which marketing ideology would best suit a particular project or event.
Someone I can respect unreservedly and who has a whole lot more experience than I do. This ultimately requires that person be intelligent and not too redundant (unnecessarily).
Someone who cares. Someone who doesn’t value me for my strengths or assess my weaknesses; but someone who simply accurately shows a mirror to me. Someone who points out the glitches in my self-image, whether I’m overly self-confident or overly self-critical.
Someone who ultimately is solution-oriented always and never critical. Mistakes are part of a process.
Someone who has a vested interest in my success but without any ownership of the results.
Can I find such a person? Well, someday I would like to be such a person to others, but today I need one.
-Misheel
Mergen, WebGuru
8 months ago
Hey Misheel, why not MANY mentors instead of trying to find that one perfect mentor? Everyone has something useful to say. I certainly have my share of things to say.
It’s always good to have multiple different people from which you could ask different advices and thoughts. After all, everyone is more knowledgeable than you in at least one subject.
I think though, honestly, you already know what to do. As you said, you knowingly sign yourself for way too many things. Why rush? Have you ever heard of sayings that go something like, “Play fast, but don’t rush”? It seems to me sometimes you are rushing to get somewhere. Rather, you should be working fast to get somewhere, but you still have a very balanced act. I always think that a person can only have 2-3 major focuses at any given time in his/her life.
Here is a big insight from what you wrote, “competing demands on my time for all the things I must do”. MUST? Are they really all MUST? Surely, only one or two items are either must or very close. The others are what you perceive as must, but can wait to start happening at a later date.
It is much simpler to do one thing and do it well than try to be good at million different things. Could you even imagine trying to be good at million different things?
Now, try to imagine becoming good at just one or two things. Yes, life is much more simpler this way.
I think the problem is… deep down you want to excel in everything and try to do everything all at once… thus, you never really are able to truly apply yourself fully to anything. yes, this sounds harsh, especially for someone as successful and talented as you. this is because I think you will achieve much more if you just choose to stick with a few things.
When I look at your skill set and your passions as I see it… you should always have some focus on a) writing b) something that pays the bills c) whatever else you want to add here. You need to drop or reduce the time demands on everything else.
Cheers!
MC
Reiner Lomb
5 months ago
Hi Misheel, your request for a mentor caught my attention. Reviewing your needs, a good coach might be more suitable. If you like a free consultation over the phone send me an e-mail. I am coaching people who want to do good and meaningful work in the world, i.e. who want to make the world a better place.
Cheers,
Reiner Lomb
BoomerangCoach
Fort Collins, CO